Dating is Like Job Hunting: The Right Fit Matters

Dating is often compared to job hunting, and for good reason. Both involve evaluating options, meeting new people, and determining whether there is a connection that leads to something meaningful. But just like in the job market, not every candidate is the right fit—and that’s okay.

Imagine an employer looking to hire a therapist and receiving an application from an accountant. There’s nothing inherently wrong with the accountant or the position itself. In fact, the employer might genuinely like the applicant, appreciate their skills, and even admire their personality. But without the proper training, practice, and experience, the accountant simply isn’t going to make a good therapist. It’s not about effort or goodwill; it’s about fit. And trying to change the position to accommodate the accountant, rather than finding the right candidate for the role, would only create problems down the road.

Dating works the same way. You can meet someone you genuinely enjoy and appreciate, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the right match for you. Taking the time to assess compatibility before committing is important—just as an employer carefully evaluates a candidate before making a hire. Rushing into something without considering long-term suitability can lead to pain and frustration for both people involved.

That’s not a failure—it’s a natural part of finding the right connection. Just as employers don’t take it personally when a candidate isn’t the right fit, daters shouldn’t take it personally when things don’t progress. It doesn’t mean either person is inadequate or lacking; it simply means they belong in different places, with different people, in different roles.

The key is to recognize this early, before investing too much energy. And not trying to reshape someone—or yourself—into something that doesn’t come naturally. The best relationships, like the best jobs, align with who we truly are. And when the fit is right, it works, although it takes work.