Accepting Limitations: Understanding That Not Everything Can Be Changed

Accepting Limitations: Understanding That Not Everything Can Be Changed

We all have characteristics that define who we are—some of which we can change and others that are simply part of us. Yet, we often expect people to adapt in ways that seem easy to us, without considering that what is effortless for one person may be incredibly difficult, or even impossible, for another.

Consider something as straightforward as height. A shorter person may struggle to reach the top shelf, no matter how much effort they put into it. They can use tools like a step stool or ask for help, but they cannot will themselves to be taller. And yet, when it comes to other traits—personality, emotional processing, or natural inclinations—we often assume that people should be able to change, simply because we would find it easy to do so.

"Why can’t they just focus more?" "Why can’t they just be more outgoing?" "Why don’t they handle stress the way I do?" These kinds of questions assume that effort alone is enough to override fundamental differences between people. But just as we accept physical limitations without judgment, we need to extend the same understanding to other aspects of who people are.

Different things come easily to different people. Some are naturally organized, while others struggle with structure. Some thrive in social settings, while others find them draining. Some people process emotions quickly, while others need more time. None of these traits are inherently good or bad—they just are.

Instead of expecting others to change fundamental aspects of themselves, we can shift our perspective. We can accept and appreciate people for who they are rather than who we think they should be. That doesn’t mean people can’t grow or improve, but growth should come from self-awareness and personal choice, not from external pressure to conform to someone else’s idea of what is "normal" or "easy."

When we stop trying to force change where it doesn’t belong, we open the door to deeper understanding, respect, and connection. And maybe, just maybe, we’ll learn to be as accepting of human nature as we are of something as simple as height. However, accepting someone as they are doesn’t mean we have to stay in a situation where their characteristics are unhealthy for us.